my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
