Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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