Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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