Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
