So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
