I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
