Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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