I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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