i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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