Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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