Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
