I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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