went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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