about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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