what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
