I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize