I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize