ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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