I wanna bring you to show and tell
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
