I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
