I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
