I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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