Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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