yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
