I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
