So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
