i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
