This show inspires me to have sex in space
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
