I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
