I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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