Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
