Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.

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(845): View more from New York

Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?

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(804): View more from Virginia

And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively

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(406): View more from Montana

Its weird to pet your cat with a boner

(1-406): View more from Montana

What the fuck?

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(903): View more from Texas

Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.

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(740): View more from Ohio

He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.

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(410): View more from Maryland

so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers

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