those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
