Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
