He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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