I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
At least life still wants to fuck me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize