Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why do cheetos always look like penises
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
