i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
