if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
