Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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