Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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