Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
