all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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