I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize