So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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