so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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