Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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