take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
