oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
its not stalking. its research.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
