I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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