I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Operation Purity has been aborted
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
