You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
