i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
