nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
