just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How does one acquire holy water?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
