I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
