the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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